ADHD: A Diagnosis not an Adjective
ADHD is real. Living with it is a challenge and a benefit.
An ADHD diagnosis means my brain is wired differently, not that I am a failure.
Instead of the official title of Attention Deficity Hyperactivity Disorder, I prefer to think of it as Ambitious Dreamer who Hates Details. Doesn’t everyone want an ambitious dreamer on their team?
I hate when mental health diagnoses are used as adjectives. If someone is forgetful, ‘spaces out’ or cannot follow-through sometimes, “They are so ADHD.”
If someone is super detailed and likes everything super consistent, “They are so OCD.” OCD is the acronym for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Say again?
Mental health diagnoses are nouns and conditions, not adjectives or descriptions on a personality test. They are real, and can represent true struggles for anyone diagnosed with one.
Adult ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, strikes a percentage of roughly 4.4 percent depending on which study reports the data. (See ADDitude magazine April 6, 2020.) Whatever the number, I fall into that percentage based on almost any criteria listed for ADHD. There is a secondary, related diagnosis called Attention Deficit Disorder, which replaces the hyperactivity energy to an inattention.
I had no desire to identify with the words deficit and disorder
I hate most diagnoses because I hate labels. Why would I want to be defined by a label that many presume as negative or a personality weakness? I always maintained that personality characteristics are just those — qualities.
Yet, getting the diagnosis in my forties was a relief and an explanation to so many shortcomings and failures for decades. I suffered from perpetual self-doubt, self-blame, and jealousy of more organized people. Why was it, I asked myself, that it seemed everyone else had it together, when I didn’t?
Could it be that I had always been a square peg in a round hole, working against what the benefits of who I am as an ADHDer?
Even better, my attitude and self-worth changed when I realized my brain is wired differently, not that I am lazy or spacey. Process improvement begins with a problem or need. I read of different organizational techniques. My doctor prescribed medications to help compensate and improve productivity, then my ability to function just improved dramatically. I joke that I now achieve better living through chemicals. Whatever the semantics, I can’t imagine going off the meds that are so key to my functioning in the world.
While I had fought a label, the label brought answers and help. I learned that my brain is wired differently. Biologically I can’t change how I am programmed, but it removed the self-blame and jealousy. If I still lean towards self-doubt, that isn’t specific to folks with ADHD.
I meet almost every characteristic of ADHD or ADD
Poor time management and organizational skills? Check. I can meet an external deadline, but am less strict with personal, e.g. “flexible” deadlines.
Forgetfulness? Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities? Big check. Car keys, papers, books, sunglasses all remain elusive — usually when I am in a hurry.
Difficulty getting started and completing tasks? Check. It took me far more years than most authors take to finish my first book. Sure, I had the excuse I was working full-time. But other authors have been able to consistently carve time out of their busy lives.
Distractibility? Check. In part, my brain runs faster than others, so my focus can jump to ten different things in five minutes. Or, during a movie, lecture or concert, if I hear any errant noises or noisy patrons, I lose my focus and grow angry at the distraction.
Yet ask me if I can stay focused? Sure. As long as I’m interested, passionate, it’s a challenge, or something new and I’m doing something. But ask me if I can stay focused on something mundane, repetitive, marked by complicated instructions, or boredom, it’s near impossible.
Disorganized? Yes, no matter how hard I try or self-improvement books I try to read. Since I find them boring, I have never finished one.
When you’re in a conversation, how often do you find yourself finishing the sentence of the people you are talking to before they can finish it themselves? Check. This one irks my husband, and probably others who are too polite to say something.
This difficulty poses one of my biggest interpersonal challenges and the one that irritates my husband the most. I have to force my brain to slow down and listen before my thoughts to jump track. I joined Toastmasters to help improve both my speaking and listening skills. Yet, I still find that when I am in interviews or podcasts, I can still unintentionally interrupt the speaker. It’s something I constantly work on.
How often do you have difficulty concentrating on what people say to you, even when they are speaking to you directly? Check.
Do you despair of ever fulfilling your potential and meeting your goals? Check. No matter how many self-improvement books I start, I rarely finish them. I have a nagging feeling I have great potential — if only I could figure out how to get there.
Do you start the day determined to get organized, and end the day feeling defeated? Check. I have tried different calendars and planners. I use the Bullet Journal method now. Guess what? You have to remember to look at it and update it daily.
On the question of focusing, if someone asks me “Have you ever been able to get engaged and stay engaged?” My answer is sure. As long as I’m interested, passionate, it’s a challenge, or something new. But ask me if I can stay focused on something mundane, repetitive, marked by complicated instruction, or boredom, it’s near impossible.
Advantage 1: ADHD folks are curious and dream big
Many experts presume some of the world’s great creatives and thinkers had ADHD. People such as Mozart, Albert Einstein, Vincent van Gogh, Abraham Lincoln, and notable people in history.
Now, if I stop to stare off in space, rather than distraction, my brain has jumped tracks to a different idea. Sometimes these ideas evolve into fabulous brainstorms because I allowed my thoughts to wander. I like asking the “What if?” questions.
As a writer, I am in good company with F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway who exhibited many traits associated with ADHD. They persevered and kept writing, proving that ADHD is a challenge, but not a barrier to success.
Advantage 2: People with ADHD often find a faster, more efficient process
If you want to find a faster way to do something, find someone who has no patience for unnecessary or duplicate steps. I want to know the ‘why’ of tasks, not just the ‘because we have always done it that way’ response.
I am inpatient with nitpicky details, inefficient processes, and sketchy reasons for doing something. This impatience becomes a benefit because I will always look for the shortest, or fastest way to do something. As I analyze processes from a logical perspective, instead of sticking with the same processes “because that’s how we have always done it” I thrive on change and improvement.
Sometimes the desire for improvement can be seen as a challenge to authority. But then, that stubborn side of me, that has nothing to do with ADHD, is also a part of me.
Advantage 3: Impulsivity can lead to grand projects
Impulsivity gets me in trouble. But it has also led to great things.
Fifteen years ago, I met someone I became fascinated with. I wrote for the Arizona Republic newspaper and often featured interesting people in the community. And Henry was beyond interesting.
I knew him for one hour, and four days later I offered to collaborate on a book of his story. No one does this. It was crazy. I did not know what I had offered, or how much work I would take one.
Yet, years later, I published a book. Had I not had this crazy idea, and impulsively suggested it, I would never have become an author.
Mental health issues are conditions, not failures or adjectives
You can no more tell a depressed person to cheer up, than you can ask an autistic person to lead a social committee.
Don’t expect someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to skip the details and avoid the repetitions.
ADHD is a condition, an explanation, and a constellation of traits. Someone with these traits will shine and rise to the top when there is match of job skills, and often paired with opposite traits.
The world needs a variety of people to get something done. If I am an impatient creative, then I need someone who is OCD — or the monike I prefer: Organized with Critical Details.
Be Kind
Like so many social media memes, kindness rules. We each have our own issues and private battles. Because you never know what someone is dealing with.
I have also learned to be kind to myself.
I no longer hide from my ADHD diagnosis.
I work with it and embrace all that it enables me to do.
